Last Updated 22/09/2020

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Monkeys are everywhere here in Sri Lanka. I’m sitting outside our room watching them right now.

You may not see them at first, but they’re there, leaping through the trees. On the coast and in the hill country.

The Garrison Cemetery in Kandy has its own monkey trap. A police officer has to hide behind a tree holding the rope that springs the trap once the hungry monkey wanders inside for a banana. The monkeys are released a long way away from Kandy, we were told.

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On the paradise beaches of Mirissa, our guest house owner spent most of his days poking monkeys with a long stick to keep them out of his mango tree. He had a different stick for every type of monkey poking opportunity.

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In Kandy the monkey troop comes and goes. You can work out where in town they are by following the loud bangs and smoke trails. Kandyans are more high tech, they’ve abandoned the stick poking method in favour of monkey-scaring fireworks.

This notice was in our room.

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Want to know what happens to people who don’t read the notice?

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It looked to us like the monkeys got away with a roll-on antiperspirant and a bottle of shampoo.

At least the monkeys will smell good.

But don’t let the monkeys put you off coming to Sri Lanka, ( we love Sri Lanka!) they’re nothing like the horrible Ubud monkeys. Because of hand feeding, Bali monkeys will bite you as soon as look at you

Sri Lankan monkeys mostly stay away from humans. They know people don’t want them around and you can chase them off pretty easily.

My brother didn’t even try that approach when a troop of baboons invaded his house in South Africa, he hid in the bathroom until they were done with his kitchen, you don’t mess with baboons.

I’m going to miss the Asian wildlife. We’re in the UK in a few days, then we’re cruising to a freezing New York City. I don’t think we’ll be seeing many animals for a while.

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